E-Dads!

10 Web sites EVERY dad needs to know about

1. Daddyshop.com ?A great place for dads to go to purchase items for their kids--and for themselves.
2. Fathers.com ?Sponsored by The National Center for Fathering, this site provides a wide array of resources for dads, including expert advice on handling the various stages of a child's development.
3. Newdads.com ?This online "boot camp for new dads" is a great resource for first-time fathers with specific advice on taking care of your baby or toddler.
4. Keepkidshealthy.com ?This Web site supplies you with resources that will assist you from birth to adolescence, including parenting tips on hot topics such as bed-wetting, discipline, potty training and sleeping habits.
5. Onemilliondads.com ?As a project of the American Family Association, this site encourages fathers to band together and help "stop the exploitation of our children" by organizing campaigns against media outlets that produce indecent programming and the companies that support it with advertising.
6. Slowlane.com ?If you're one of the growing number of stay-at-home dads, then this site is chock full of online references, resources and networking opportunities.
7. Dadsanddaughters.org ?For the fathers trying to build a better relationship with the special young ladies in their lives, this site contains numerous articles on the subject and give dads a chance to stand up as advocates for daughters across the country.
8. Sportsparenting.org ?This site is perfect for dads looking to get involved with their children's youth sports activities, addressing both athletic development and character development.
9. Collegeparenting.com ?Tells dads how to plan their children's educational future from financial planning to college admissions and campus life.
10. Itsmylife.com? This site allows you to create a legal will online for a nominal fee.

Mat Management                                                                                                            By John Ortberg<?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" /><o:p></o:p>

Fact: 90 percent of guys lack a true friend. If you've become a statistic, take a lesson from the paralyzed man and the men who brought him to Jesus. <o:p></o:p>

Anyone who has ever picked up a baseball bat on a sandlot or dribbled a basketball on a playground knows the agony of waiting to be picked for a team. Who wants to be chosen dead last? That desire to be picked for the ball team directly relates to our desires in grown-up, real friendships. <o:p></o:p>

Who doesn't want to be liked, to be wanted, to have solid, satisfying friendships? Not anyone I know ?and not anyone you know either. But let's face it, being a friend is hard work and men are often not very good at it. One survey indicated that 90 percent of the male population in <?xml:namespace prefix = st1 ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags" /><st1:country-region w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on">America</st1:place></st1:country-region> lack a true friend. Why is that? We can relate to business associates, talk to our kids' teachers or discuss sports with anyone, but when it comes to developing true friendships, why do we falter? <o:p></o:p>

Psychologist Alan L. McGinnis notes that rule No.1 for entering into deep friendships sounds deceptively simple: Assign top priority to your relationships. Ironically, we tend to devote massive amounts of time to making money, running errands and succeeding at our jobs, but we neglect giving our most valuable possession--time--to making friends and spending time with them. <o:p></o:p>

There is a world of difference between being friendly to someone and being someone's friend. A phone call at home reminded me of this recently. The man on the other end of the line called me by my first name; he asked how my day was going; he spoke in warm and caring tones; he was concerned that my long-distance carrier might not be providing the kind of service that a busy person such as I might need. <o:p></o:p>

But when I told him I did not want to spend money with him, I got the clear sense that our relationship was suddenly over. He was a friendly person. But he was not my friend. We live in a world of networking, contacts, Rolodex files and quid pro quos. But when the relationship isn't strategic anymore, when the sales dry up, when the plane lands--the relationship is over. <o:p></o:p>

The relationship may be with a colleague. It may be a cordial, mutually beneficial acquaintance. It's not necessarily a bad thing. But it's not a friendship. Friends are people who have made a major commitment to other human beings. But in our society, as the late Lewis Smedes, distinguished theologian and author, puts it, we have confused friends with "friendly people." <o:p></o:p>

I love psychologist Urie Bronfenbrenner's definition of a family, which applies to friendship: "A group which possesses and implements an irrational commitment to the well-being of its members." The key word is irrational. In great communities, people care about their friends without asking, "What's in it for me?" <o:p></o:p>

A great story in the Bible tells about a friendship between a paralyzed man and the men who brought him to Jesus (see <st1:PersonName w:st="on">Mark</st1:PersonName> 2:1-12). I can imagine what life would be like for this man. His whole life is lived on a mat 3 feet wide and 6 feet long. Someone has to feed him, carry him, clothe him, move him to keep him from being covered with bedsores and clean him when he soils himself. He will never know the sense of independence we prize so fiercely. Nothing can be done medically--no surgeries, no rehab programs, no treatment centers. <o:p></o:p>

He has no money, no job, no influence, no family and seemingly not much of a future. What's he got going for him? He has amazing friends. He is in one of the killer small groups of all time. I picture a little band of men who in the face of formidable obstacles--social stigma, inconvenience, financial pressure, a high cost of time and energy--choose to become friends. <o:p></o:p>

I envision a gift between these men: dependable faithfulness and trusting vulnerability. The paralyzed man's mat, which according to society should have created a great gulf between him and them, instead has become an opportunity for servanthood and acceptance. This group becomes what I call the Fellowship of the Mat. <o:p></o:p>

Here is the truth about us: Everybody has a mat. But it is only when we allow others to see our mat, when we give and receive help, that healing becomes possible. Maybe your mat is a temper you can't seem to control. Maybe your mat is fear. Maybe your mat is an inability to trust, the need to be in control or an inability to speak the language of the heart. Maybe your mat involves a terrible secret of some awful thing you did that you still feel guilty about. Maybe it is a crushing sense of failure, inadequacy, plainness or loneliness. <o:p></o:p>

Sometimes people spend their whole lives doing "mat management." They pretend they don't have a mat. They appear to be so healthy and strong that the people around them assume they could walk anywhere they want to. They can see other peoples' mats--maybe even have a spiritual gift of "mat identification" for others--but never reveal their own. Their primary goal is to hide their brokenness from others' eyes. <o:p></o:p>

If this is you, you may get good at hiding your mat. You may convince everybody of your strength. But you will not live in community. So let me ask you a personal question: Who carries your mat for you sometimes? Who do you show your weaknesses and struggles to? Who do you ask to pray for you when you need prayer? Who do you let see your brokenness? <o:p></o:p>

If you want a deep friendship, you can't always be the strong one. You will sometimes have to let somebody else carry your mat. That is what happens in the Bible story. One day Jesus comes to their town and when these four men find out about it, they naturally want to hear this famous rabbi. One of them probably says: "We can't just go ourselves. We've got to get our friend there. Maybe these things they're saying about Jesus are true. Maybe Jesus really can heal our friend!" <o:p></o:p>

They tell their friend he's going to see Jesus. But when they get to the home where Jesus is teaching, it is packed. Standing room only. The men probably hadn't counted on this. One can assume they were so excited, but now they're shut out. Then one of them--the management guy, the one with an MBA--presumably says: "How can we get him to Jesus? Let's have a brainstorming session, and remember--when brainstorming, there's no such thing as a dumb idea." One of them gets an idea. "What if we make a hole and lower him through the roof?" Silence. "OK," asks the MBA, "any other ideas?" <o:p></o:p>

The hole in the roof idea is the only thing they can come up with. They realize it's an unorthodox way to get into a room, but they are desperate. These men decide not to let a little roofing get in their way of seeing Jesus. They serve their friend with determination, boldness and creativity. They become roof-crashers for him. <o:p></o:p>

Inside, Jesus is teaching and people are paying close attention. But the distraction level begins to rise when a strange noise begins coming from the roof. Dirt and dust and bits of reed begin to descend from the ceiling, getting in people's eyes and landing in their hair. Eventually, all conversation ceases and Jesus Himself stops talking. Everyone is looking up now, and there's a hole in the ceiling. <o:p></o:p>

The man's friends must wonder how Jesus will respond. They have nothing to ask for themselves. I'm sure their only thoughts are, If we can just get our friend close to Jesus. Jesus looks up and sees the faces of four men staring down at Him. Then the text says an amazing thing: "When Jesus saw their faith" (<st1:PersonName w:st="on">Mark</st1:PersonName> 2:5, NIV). <o:p></o:p>

Usually healing stories speak of Jesus seeing the faith of the one asking for healing for themselves or their child. Here it's the faith, not of the man, but of his friends. Jesus sees a group who possesses and acts on an irrational commitment to the well-being of one of its members. <o:p></o:p>

I can just picture Jesus turning and looking down at this twisted, motionless body on a mat. He sees not only a broken body, but also--as in every one of us--a broken, fallen soul. He says, "'Son, your sins are forgiven'" (<st1:PersonName w:st="on">Mark</st1:PersonName> 2:5). Jesus is filling the desires of this man's friends, perhaps even deeper than they realize. <o:p></o:p>

When someone is your friend, your greatest desire for them--deeper than external well-being or even physical health--is that things are right between them and God. This man is told by Jesus something to the effect: "'You're clean. You're forgiven. You are right with God. Get up, take your mat, go home'" (see <st1:PersonName w:st="on">Mark</st1:PersonName> 2:5, 10). <o:p></o:p>

Silence. Everyone watches. The man stands up. He lifts his mat off the ground. He folds it up. He has spent his whole life on that thing. And suddenly--never again. Not just his body has been healed. His heart and soul have also. Every sin has been forgiven. Physically, relationally, spiritually, he is the healthiest guy in the room. <o:p></o:p>

Imagine when he becomes an old man and hits 80. One by one the man's friends begin to pass away. Every time he looks at that mat, he remembers the little community he was part of that crashed through a roof for him. His greatest gift, humanly speaking, wasn't his legs. It was his friends. There's no gift like the gift of community. <o:p></o:p>

The Fellowship of the Mat still exists. You find it wherever a group possesses and implements an irrational commitment to the well-being of its members. It is not an easy fellowship to be a part of--people's mats are sometimes heavy and awkward, and there's always a roof of busyness or fear or conflict that needs to be crashed through. But it is the place where healing and wholeness happens, and those who find their way to it would never live without it again. <o:p></o:p>

The Fellowship of the Mat is more than just a concept? It is a fundamental requirement for all of us. We need friends. The question is: Are you willing to invest some of your time in developing a few close friendships? Don't wait until tragedy strikes, a crisis arises or life is unbearable. Start making true friends now! True friendship pays tremendous dividends in happiness, health, support and growth. It's where we encounter God's love in a tangible way and discover the transforming power of being loved, accepted and valued just the way we are.<o:p></o:p>

FINANCE                                                                               From the Ashes

Seven steps to surviving financial disaster from former Vanguard Airlines CEO Scott Dickson
By DAVE URBANSKI

Early in the morning on September 11, 2001, Scott Dickson, then CEO of Vanguard Airlines, watched from the cockpit of one of his company's jets as the clouds parted over Manhattan's skyline. Dickson made it a point to rub shoulders as often as possible with his employees during their shifts, and the pilots were no exception.

"At about 1 a.m. we were flying right next to the World Trade Center," Dickson, 52, recalls. "The Twin Towers were all lit up, and we had a spectacular vantage point from the cockpit. I remarked to one of the pilots what an incredible sight they were--little did we know that we were some of the last people to ever get that view."

Less than eight hours later, the world changed.

In a hotel room just over a mile from what's now known as Ground Zero, Dickson was preparing for investor meetings when his phone rang. It was a Vanguard shareholder who he was traveling with. "You'd better turn on the TV," the shareholder said. "A jet just crashed into one of the Twin Towers."

In a state of disbelief, Dickson tried to walk to his first meeting and was confronted with a sea of humanity. He recalls: "People were moving north from lower Manhattan by any means possible. It was very orderly, there was no fighting--just this incredible mass movement. We could see the smoke billowing above the skyline; there was this acrid smell. When I finally got back to my hotel, I started running a remote emergency center from my room."

Dickson talked to his wife and his associates at Vanguard. Their passengers and planes were safely on the ground and accounted for. Relief.

But Dickson's mind began racing as a new reality set in.

"For however long we were grounded, we'd be devastated financially," he recalls, echoing the concerns of every airline, big and small, around the country. "We had a couple of thousand passengers to re-accommodate. Local passengers could just go back home, but those in transit we were putting up in hotels. Homeless shelters provided cots. We were just running on adrenaline."

Dickson adds: "It was like a war--there was fear and angst in your gut, but we had to do what we had to do to stay alive as a company. I got back home to Dallas later that week, and as my wife and I drove to church on Sunday, I just broke down crying. It was just a huge release of emotion."

Dickson details the 10 months that followed--including what he learned after the gut-wrenching decision to shut down Vanguard and declare bankruptcy in July 2002--in his book, Never Give Up: 7 Principles for Christians Leading in Tough Times (Barbour).

"When we had to file for bankruptcy, that was a brutally tough day, a heartbreaking time," Dickson notes.

Dickson worked on and off in consulting jobs after Vanguard's shutdown--until January 2005 when he signed on as chief marketing officer for Midwest Airlines, one of Vanguard's arch rivals. Dickson says there are key lessons he has learned that Christian business leaders can apply during difficult times (see below):

1. Put fear in its place. God never intended for any of us to live in fear. When we're afraid, we need to humbly bring our fears before God. Then, He empowers us to look fear in the face and say, "No!"

2. Remember to pray. God actually wants to bless us in all things, including our business concerns. We must simply make our business concerns a part of our daily prayer lives.

3. Get God's perspective. It is essential to find times and places to get away and spend time alone with God. When we do that, we receive His special blessing.

4. Provide "front-line" leadership. Spending time on the front lines is absolutely essential for the well-being of a company during the good times and for its very survival during the difficult ones. It shows that you care not just about the company as a whole but about each person individually.

5. Communicate often and honestly. One example of bad business leadership is poor communication. Whether you use regular e-mails, office memos or personal interactions, communication is a must when it comes to leading during difficult times.

6. Persevere through everything. Most of the time, the road to blessing and success is paved with setbacks and even some short-term or temporary failures. God has promised us that if we persevere, if we refuse to give up, we will find blessing.

7. Focus on the "bigger picture." Focusing on the "bigger picture" means doing all we can to make sure we glorify God in every decision we make and action we take. And it's also making sure that we are in the place He wants us to be when He wants us to be there.

SPORTS

Prime-Time Faith

Christian sports broadcasters are making a difference in a world that often promotes values contrary to the Bible.

It's hard to say when things changed, but sometime around the Howard Cosell era, sports broadcasters emerged from behind the microphone and into the hearts of sports fans as full-fledged celebrities.

So it shouldn't be a big surprise to learn that sports broadcasters are now facing many of the same temptations as the athletes that they cover. Spencer Tillman has experienced those challenges from multiple angles. As a CBS college-football analyst and former star athlete with the Oklahoma Sooners and Houston Oilers, he is fully aware of the pitfalls of fame.

"Temptation is always going to be out there because people are drawn to some sense of celebrity," Tillman says. "The key is to start off knowing that is the case. When you understand the nature of the business and the nature of people, then you can guard against those things."

For Ernie Johnson, it took some hard lessons as an unsaved journalist before he finally found Christ in 1997. As the popular studio host for Turner Broadcasting's NBA coverage, he too can easily pinpoint the primary culprit that aims to tear down the character of Christian sports broadcasters.

"There are a lot of land mines out there in broadcasting, chiefly to me the recognition and praise and criticism that comes your way," Johnson says. "I really struggled for a long time, and still do from time to time, with pride and arrogance and concern over what viewers and critics think of me. I remind myself that if anybody's going to get any glory out of this thing it's God."

According to TBS college-football announcer Ron Thulin, he first advises new talent to be vigilant while on the road through personal prayer, and devotion time and accountability. "Traveling affords you many opportunities to fall," Thulin says. "There's a lot of downtime. You're in hotel rooms alone. Females do recognize you. They do come up and want to talk. ... When you're on the road, you have to really be aware that the devil is going to attack you."

Former ESPN and FOX broadcaster Eric Clemons (currently serving as the sports anchor at FOX affiliate WVUE in New Orleans) says Christian reporters need to take a stand for what they believe in, even if it costs them personally. "There are certain political games that are played that defy truth," Clemons says. "If a higher up at a network tells me something and it opposes my truth, then I'm going to let him know that. ... I truly believe that's why I haven't been a long-standing person at that [national] level."

Christian sports broadcasters are also faced with an onslaught of negative stories that are constantly filling up the airwaves. "The one thing that really bugs me is how fatherhood is celebrated when the athlete isn't married," Johnson says. "I'm not going to get on my soapbox and debate the point. That's not why I'm there. ... But you will not hear me joining the backslapping and high-fiving for an out-of-wedlock birth. That's not the message I want to send."

Golf Channel reporter Brian Anderson says that it's a natural tendency to dig out the dirt, but feels it is his responsibility as a Christian to dig even deeper for the positives. "The problem is that we want to know too much about the athletes, especially the troubled ones," Anderson says. "Positive, encouraging, newsworthy stories do exist."

Along with the opportunity to reach into millions of households is the opportunity to be an influence on the many people that work behind the scenes, the people who rarely receive due credit.

"I think I have a responsibility to reflect God," Thulin says. "It's so easy to get caught up in the game. You've got so many things hitting you at once. You have meetings for 14 hours and tapes to watch. But you forget there are 40 other people making me look good. I've always made it a point to treat those people with respect. ... I try to make sure they know that they can come to me when they're going through a tough time. They know that I care."

Planting Seeds on Putting Greens

How a Florida-based organization teaches kids about God ... through golf.

If you ever attend a clinic organized by Growing Kids Through Golf, it won't take long to spot Mark Eberle, the program's founder. He's usually the one watching the interaction between young golfers and their professional counterparts with a wide, endless smile across his face.

It was 15 years ago in Van Wert, Ohio, when Eberle first conceived the idea of using golf as a way to minister to kids. Now based in Orlando, Fla., the once would-be professional golfer recalls how his heart was turned toward outreach.

"As my golf career developed by playing the mini tours and then teaching, I was gradually drawn away from my (Christian) foundation," Eberle explains. "It was a personal encounter with God that refocused my life 20 years ago. It was such a powerful experience I walked away from golf to seek what God wanted for my life."

A two-month trip to the Amazon opened Eberle's eyes to what God had in store for his future. Initially, that vision was encompassed through his organization known as the Christian Golfer's Association (CGA). The first youth clinic consisted of just six pupils. Since then, the ministry has expanded to include a six-level program that involves kids ages 7 to 17.

Growing Kids Through Golf helps local churches start their own golf-related outreaches but focuses much of its attention on Tour Heroes Clinics that take place at different PGA, LPGA and Champions Tour stops around the country. These one-day events allow local kids and parents to interact with tour players who give golf demonstrations and share their testimonies. Eberle has been blessed to work with a number of professional golfers including Lee Janzen and David Gossett (PGA), and Tracy Hanson (LPGA) and Jim Thorpe (Champions Tour).

"The goal of the program is to impact the lives of young people," Eberle says. "Our focus is to connect kids to their local church where they can be cared for, nurtured and loved. And to give the kids who are already active in their local church leadership skills along with a sense of ownership in their church no matter how young they are."